I don't think I did much better on that stupid first test. And it was probably going to be the easiest one of the three.
I'm sickfeeling and I feel like crying because of crap that happened today and didn't even matter. But it doesn't matter.
I don't know if I want summer to happen or if I just want school to be less stressful all the time.
I wish my mother would understand things. I do care about her/thechildren. I would help anyway I could. I just don't know what to do anymore. And I'm forgetful, which makes it worse. The least I could do is watch them right once in a while, I can agree, but otherwise..I try. And wtf? If I have my *one* friend over, ONCE IN A WHILE, and it's not a problem when I ask, she shouldn't turn it around on me later. She does that with EVERYTHING. And I'm not an animal or a five-year-old. I have a right to speak and she shouldn't tell me to "shut up" just because she's fracking older than me. When she's having her flip out attacks I have a right to object to being called a "stupid fat mouthed brat." I'm not stupid...and I don't think my mouth is fat. Seriously. LAME. INSULT. It's not my fault that we happen to be in a garbage dump of a situation and it doesn't affect me directly because I still have school and almost-former-stepfather is my stepfather and not my real dad. I feel terrible about it not directly affecting me. But I did have to move. Suddenly. I don't know what to do anymore. Especially when she acts like it's not a big deal after she's calmed down a bit.
So I will, from now on, be more aware of my surroundings when I'm watching siblings.
And I thank @algonacchick, @nomibear and @missymoo38 for being nice to me. *AT REPLIES!*
Subject-Change
Hm.. I always have this thing where I want to do something creative! Something! I don't care what. I can't do anything musically, so that's out, and I can't really write (except for facts, like in a journalism setting, which is why I love writing for school newspapers and stuff-I just don't know yet if I'd ever want to do it for a living, maybe if I had a story-beat-thinger that interested me *another story*). What I can do....sort of.......is videoness. But if I feel creative and try to make a video, I have to come up with an idea, which takes a while to come up with an idea (this is just one of my examples of a result of one of these inspirations*) or....I just randomly babble. I CANNOT VLOG I DO NOT VLOG I HAVE NOTHI
Typing this...I think the urge went away. Perhaps the remedy to get rid of the creative impulse is to stop listening to Julia Nunes and read on my Kindle like I'm supposed to, or study parobolas and freakin' square roots so I don't get a D in math. Or write ranting things about my mother and how she is treating me. (That sounded really self-sorry-for, I realize. I just don't know how else to put it.)
Friday I get to be on TV. School...TV. Stay tuned.
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